I guess let’s start from the beginning. I’m fat, overweight, and have been my whole life. Growing up, I was a super athlete, but still bigger than most girls around me. In recent years, I’ve only gotten bigger. Perhaps it came with finding someone who I knew would love me not matter what, so I just kind of let myself eat whatever the hell I wanted and in turn, gained a crap ton of weight. Yeah, not good. Upon hitting the ripe age of 26, and in turn, being closer to 30, I realized I needed to lose weight. Many reasons could be listed, but I think I’ve singled it down to 2 big and general ones:
1. I want to be healthy for the future.
2. I want to actually look in a mirror and not be disgusted by my body.
Let’s stick with the first one for now, as both are pretty weighty (haha, I’m terrible) topics. As I hit 26, and started to realize how much my weight was starting to affect my health, it hit me harder that I really need to lose weight. I mean, Matt and I have talked about our want for kids in a few years. I want kids, he wants kids, yay! But then there’s the part of me having to, ya know, have a baby inside of me and not either hurt the baby or myself.
I started doing research on women and having babies when they’re pretty overweight and it scared the living shit out of me. I started hearing about gestational diabetes and high blood pressure and… yeah, no. Not what I want to face, for my own health and the kid’s health. So there’s that. If we want to have kids and not risk some serious health problems, I have to lose weight. Realistically, we’re not thinking about kids for probably another 2 years, so I’ve got time to do this in a healthy and realistic fashion.
Babies aside, my health itself is just something to want to improve. Here, I’ll say what’s been in the back of my mind for awhile: I don’t want to die when I’m 40. I want to live a long healthy life with Matt and I want to chase my kids around and take them to Disney World and have crazy awesome dance parties with them in our living room and see them get married and.. yeah. I want to do it all. I’m determined to make a change to my lifestyle and while yeah, it’s not going to be easy (though so far, it really hasn’t been that bad), it’s something I have to do if I really want to live a long and beautiful life.
I’ll talk about body issues in another post, because it really is a whole other she-bang that requires time and well, I don’t want to smother you in my self-image issues just quite yet. I’m trying to attract readers, not drive them away.