So this past weekend, we were obviously in Boston and had a great time. While there, we tried our absolute best to stay on track with eating, allowing for one cheat meal, etc. While we were pretty in check with things, I don’t think the lobster roll (even though I added no butter to it) or French fries were probably very healthy. Add to that the amazing dinner and cake we had at the wedding and well, I wasn’t sure how we would do when we got home and weighed in Sunday morning.
As I stepped on the scale, I hoped I’d see at least a pound or something, and basically anything but a gain. I think I may have stepped on and off the scale at least 3 times, hoping the scale was lying to me the first few times I stepped on. Alas, the scale did not lie. I gained a pound.
I know, it’s just a pound. I’m not sitting here crying about it, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. Disappointed that while I knew this weekend was a challenge and I wanted to really see if I could lose weight while surrounded by delicious foods, I failed. Am I mad that I had a lobster roll? I can’t say that I am. Am I mad that I ate BBQ and ridiculously delicious wedding cake? Not really. But I can’t have it both ways and expect to lose much when it goes from a cheat meal to a cheat weekend.
It’s a weird feeling; part of me is disappointed in myself but then part of me is saying, hey it’s just a pound, it was a special weekend, etc. I’ve had this happen in the past, where I hit a weekend where I gain a little, and it’s almost like I just lose all motivation, start to feel like a failure, and go back to eating horribly.
I’m happy to report that this time was different. Matt lost one pound, which for him was disappointing as well. We both talked about how we were disappointed but then reminded each other that it was okay, we were going right back to our usual foods, measuring portions, and counting calories. And we have. While my weigh-in isn’t until Saturday, I’m extremely optimistic that I’ve lost at least something.
I’m proud that instead of basically saying the hell with healthy eating, I kept my head up and went right back to what I was doing before. It probably doesn’t seem like a monumental thing, just for me this is actually a huge achievement. Getting past these kinds of minor bumps in the road is going to be really important in getting myself to be healthier.
Sure, it was only one pound, but the first gain can always be really hard to deal with. The emotions that go along with it, the shame, the guilt, the disappointment, the temptations… These emotions are all things that are part of this obstacle course of losing weight and getting healthy. I will not let them slow me down; I’m in this for the long run and I’m proud of myself for not giving up like I have in the past.