Guys! GUYS! Remember me? Yeah, so I still have been slacking like, huge, on updating and writing. I’m telling you, when you switch to a job that has you on your toes non-stop, writing copy, you just kind of get home with a brain full of mush and want to do nothing but play video/board games or watch the boob tube until bed time. I actually have some free time this morning, and my brain hasn’t been turned into zombie guts quite yet, so I better get on it while I can…
BUT ANYWAY! Forget all that for a moment because I have some big news… Though I need to address something first.
So I’ve been kind of lying to people here and there for awhile. I stopped talking about how much weight I’ve lost, because I got stuck on a really nasty plateau for well over a month. It sucked to go from 40-47 pound weight losses, but never past that 47 pounds. I was exercising, eating right, and yet nothing. I got frustrated, but I never gave up. What I did do was stop obsessing about my weight and just kept eating right and working out.
Problem is, I got myself into a weird hole by starting off with announcing my weight losses every week (because hey, losing 7 pounds in a week was awesome!).. People grew to expect these epic updates on a weekly basis. So when I stopped updating, I had a few people ask me, “SO HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST NOW?!”
Pressure’s always on to spill the beans, and have some huge number. Problem is, I was still stuck at the same number as the last time they asked. So sometimes I’d just round up and say it: “50!” And the person would get all excited, I’d smile and give a little woohoo, but inside I knew I was lying. I didn’t hit my first goal, my first big milestone. Though I was close, I wasn’t there yet. So I lied, and I hated that feeling because more than anything else, with all the work I’ve been putting in, I wanted nothing more than to be able to TRUTHFULLY say I’ve lost 50 pounds.
I apologize for that. It’s just hard when you’ve got people asking you and you feel like you’d disappoint someone by saying the same number as before. It’s weird because I’m obviously doing this for myself, and really I have been! But when someone asks you and you just look at their face (especially parents, that’s the hardest), you just want to make them proud. It’s just kind of how it is when people are rooting for you, you know? You don’t want to let ’em down.
Okay okay, so all that being said, I am proud to say that I have truthfully, as of this past Friday, lost just over 50 pounds. Yup, I finally did it. Broke my plateau, and have made my way to the 50 pound milestone. Man, I feel like I deserve a little medal or something… Maybe something like, “Peace out fiddy!” Or I’ll just settle for being so damn proud of myself. Who would’ve thought that I’d lose more weight by throwing in more calories to my intake every day? Though I mainly do this on workout days, because for some odd reason I lose weight when I actually eat a good amount of my calories burnt. Will that continue to happen? I doubt it, but for now it’s what works.
This whole losing weight thing has become such a guessing game in terms of what works/what doesn’t and how my body reacts to calories. It’s really weird and sometimes VERY frustrating, but when you find that balance, awesome. When you don’t and you can’t figure out why? It’s total suck-age.
The other cool thing though that I’m proud of myself for is on days when I need to eat more calories, in the past, I’ve just added in a few non-healthy food items. For example, I’d add in a candy bar for an extra 250 calories. Not so healthy, right? Now I’ve just been adding in literally an extra piece of fruit, I add in the dried fruit to my oatmeal from Starbucks every morning (I’m so addicted to their oatmeal it’s kind of out of control), 100 calories worth of lean deli turkey for a post-workout snack, some almond butter with pretzel crisps, etc. Much healthier items for extra calories, and you get so much more for 250-400 calories than one stupid candy bar… Though that’s not to say I don’t indulge here and there during the week on something like that.
As a final note to this awesome milestone, I thought it might be kind of fun to post a photo of my progress, compared to January when I hadn’t even thought about starting this journey. In the 50 pounds that I’ve lost, I’d say a lot of it has come off of my face and my upper torso. Like hey, I actually have a neck again!
September 2011 (as in I just took this right now in my office):
I’ve got a long way to go, and sometimes I look at that and think about how I’m going to get there. Then I look at what I’ve accomplished already in 4 1/2 months and realize that I can do this and I will do this. It will take time and effort and hitting frustrating plateaus, but I will get there. Now I’m just glad I can be proud that I’ve hit Milestone #1, and am on my way to Milestone #2, which is a big one (100 pounds). It’ll probably take more time than the first 50, so I need to remind myself of that and just keep on truckin’ along.
So uhh, yeah, go me!