Category Archives: Getting healthy

When you “cheat” more than normal…

So, I’ve been sitting here thinking about how I should write an update on things on the weight loss/healthy changes front. It’s been a bit of time since I last updated about it, so here I am, writing about it. Amongst the craziness of those 5 days that I wrote about in my last post, I also didn’t eat very well. Now, I’m not saying I had a blow out every single day and ate terrible foods, but I’m also not saying that I didn’t eat a gyro and Greek fries, Thanksgiving dinner (and leftovers), breakfast from Wild Wheat, red velvet cake, and lots of not-so-good-for-you goodies. Hm, now looking back, yeah, I’d say Wednesday-Monday was pretty much a whole lot of cheating… Okay, so maybe it was a blow out after all.

Am I mad at myself? Honestly? Not really. Well, I think a little bit, but at the same time, with it being Thanksgiving and my birthday, I just wanted to let loose for a little bit. And I think I’m actually okay with it. The only part I think I’m mad at myself for is just straight-up portion control. It’s kind of amazing how you can step back into former bad habits really quickly without realizing it. I think that’s the only part I’m disappointed about, is not stopping when I know I should’ve stopped. But ya know what? I ate my damn red velvet cake and I ENJOYED it. So really, while there is definitely a hint of disappointment, I’m fairly certain that I’m 98% okay with it.

Now the big question… Did I gain weight from it? Welp, I don’t know. I haven’t weighed myself now in awhile. It’s pretty nice not obsessing about the constant “DID I LOSE WEIGHT?” thing. Plus, I’m fairly certain I did gain weight from my days of fun, but what’s the point in stepping on the scale? I know myself too well; I’ll tell myself that I’m fine with gaining a pound or two, but the second that becomes real, on the scale, I’ll get really down on myself and it won’t be a good situation. So with that, I might weigh myself in a few weeks before Christmas, but I’m not sure. I’m also considering just waiting until after Christmas, but before our trip to Disney World. Disney is going to be an all-out eat-whatever-we-want trip, since we made a deal that if we ware on vacation, we’re also on vacation from counting calories. So my thought is to weigh myself before we leave, just to check in on how I’m doing, and go from there. Sure, it’s a long way away to not weigh myself, but I’m also finally feeling comfortable with my current progress and not obsessing with my scale that it’s a very necessary break. So we will see, but last time I stepped on the scale, I was flirting with nearing the 60 pound mark.

On the exercise front, I had taken a break for a few weeks from going to the gym. I was getting burnt out and frustrated with my lack of weight loss, so I stepped back from going. Problem is, as soon as you start to do that, you’re breaking a good habit you had going. The good thing is, because Matt and I take the same train home at 5:40, but I get out at 4:30, I have around 40 minutes to do whatever I want until I have to meet Matt at the train. It gets boring sitting in your office for 40 minutes, which I’ve been doing recently on my hiatus from the gym… but this week I got kind of tired of it. So what did I do? Went back to the gym! I’m proud that I’m back to going whenever I can. I thought I would be dying on the elliptical, and while I definitely am not where I was before in terms of my strides per minute, I’m not in as terrible shape as I thought I would be.

I’m thinking about walking today, and kind of switching between that and the elliptical. I hear how awesome walking is for you, so I really think it’ll be good for me. Plus, we’re going to Disney World where I expect to walk miles upon miles every day (and this time I’m bringing actual GOOD sneakers, to avoid a repeat of our honeymoon where I had the most horrible blisters EVER.), so I think it’s probably a good idea that I walk a few miles every day to get my body ready for that. I’m sticking to walking for now, as I thought my body was ready to do a little jogging and I managed to hurt my knee in that process. That’s actually part of the reason I took a break from the gym; my knee was bothering me and I really didn’t want to make it any worse.

While yes I’ve made strides and have lost a lot of weight, I still need to lose more before I feel like I can safely do things like jog, or any sort of higher-impact exercise. My knees just aren’t ready for it, and with my ankles being so terrible from all the sprains in high school, I just don’t want to risk really injuring myself. So for now, walking and elliptical is what I need to focus on and not push myself so hard that I legitimately hurt myself.

Actually, that just reminded me… While I appreciate people wanting to help out and give advice, I think some people think that because I’ve lost almost 60 pounds, I’m now at a weight where I can run and stuff without any concern for hurting myself. I’m not sure people realize that I’ve got another like.. 150 pounds to lose! I think I look like I weigh less than I actually do. One day, when I’m finally at a weight that I’m a bit more comfortable with, I’ll let you know where I started. In the meantime, I’m obviously not about to divulge where I’m at right now with anyone but myself and Matt. That being said, just uh, remember that not everyone can just start running when they have a ton of weight to lose, even if I’ve lost 60 pounds already.

That’s about it on that front! I’m feeling a lot more relaxed about things, proud that even after around 5-6 days of unhealthier eating, I’m back on track, eating the things I should be eating during my work week and back at the gym! It’s a good feeling and I’m glad I have control over my eating. Honestly, any other time I’ve lost weight in the past, I’d have continued to eat like crap and then gained all of my weight back. But this time? Nope, not happening. I might have gained a few pounds from last week/weekend, but that’s no excuse to just go back to eating crappy every day of the week and to stop exercising. Life is all about balance and making sure you don’t go overboard either way. Sometimes we have times where we might “cheat” more than normal, but that’s LIFE. I’m not going to worry about it, instead I’m going to continue what I’ve been doing while enjoying life.

That’s what this entire thing has been about! Getting healthier but also living my life and enjoying it. So that’s what I’m going to keep doing…

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Getting healthy

Dealing with the Emotions of Losing Weight…

While I’ve been on hiatus from my blog, I grew a mustache. I thought it complimented my face pretty well, and I’m hoping it sticks around…

Okay, beautiful mustache aside, this has been the longest hiatus from my blog ever. I just haven’t wanted to write in here. What prompted me to finally make a little comeback was a conversation I had with Matt last night about losing weight and people’s reactions to it. While most of it I don’t really want to talk about on here, because it’d probably make me look like a raging ungrateful asshole, I don’t mind talking about some other things I’ve noticed… Plus, I’m having one of those days where I started nagging Matt while he was driving about dealing with traffic, and in turn I just made myself feel like a huge jerkface, when combined with my current issues I’m dealing with… It resulted in a not-so-fun start to my morning of basically feeling like the worst human being/wife ever. I’m fine now, or well, at least a lot better than I was before, but I still want to talk about the emotions I’ve been feeling lately. I’m not sure anyone will be able to understand this, and I’m a little concerned I’ll either come off as a wackadoo or being jerk, but MAYBE, just maybe, there’s someone else out there going through weight loss and will understand where this is all coming from.

I’m way too hard on myself. I always knew that losing weight would result in some emotions coming up and me having to deal with them head-to-head. I knew this day would come. I would have a serious battle with myself, and I think that’s been happening and festering inside of me for awhile now. I’ve lost close to 60 pounds (57 to be exact), and while everyone around me is really happy for me, cheering me on, telling me what an amazing accomplishment it is, I’m sitting over here not being able to enjoy it. Why? Because I still have so much more to lose to even be considered healthy. It’s gotten better, in terms of being proud of what I have done. I swear to God it has, but it’s definitely not 100% positive on my side of things.

It’s hard to look at myself in the mirror and feel proud of how I look right now. Well actually, that’s only half true. Half the time I look in the mirror when I’m wearing something I really like, I feel really good about myself and feel how I SHOULD be feeling right now. But then, half the time I look at myself in something, or after I’ve gotten out of the shower, and I feel terrible. I’ve still got fat arms, and honestly, I could go on here, but basically, I’m not happy with what I see. So it’s a 50/50 chance right now of me looking in the mirror and either seeing one of the following:

“OH HEY GIRL YOU LOOK SO GOOD! SO MUCH SMALLER THAN BEFORE!” (See in this photo I was feelin’ good!)

OR

“OMG WHYYYY AM I NOT GETTING ANY SMALLER? WHY AM I STILL A FAT BLOB?” (And thus I find myself making this face in the mirror.)

So friends, it’s been a battle. It really has been. Half the time I feel proud of myself, the other half of the time I feel like I need to be losing more weight on a weekly basis and that this whole weight loss thing that my body seems to be resisting against is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever dealt with and that I’m just a failure.

It’s funny because as I’m sitting here writing this, I KNOW that I’m not a failure. I really do! But then something just triggers inside my head, perhaps old demons from my past, I don’t really freakin’ know, but something sets off in my mind and starts telling me that I am a failure and that my numbers should be way bigger than 1-2 pounds (or sometimes a big fat zero). I do think the scale is a big part of it. Which is why I am declaring no weigh-ins until maybe, I don’t know, for a month? I said before I’d do every other week or whatever, but even that was frustrating. This will hopefully help prevent the thing that triggers my mind to basically verbally abuse myself, like some bootcamp instructor, telling me I shouldn’t be proud and I’m always going to be fat.

So it has been difficult to stop and smell the roses, which is honestly quite unfortunate. I SHOULD be stopping to smell the roses, because what I’ve done over the past 7 months is fabulous. I GET THAT. And I get that right now while I’m writing this. But I would be totally lying to you if I said that this is my mindset all the time. Because it’s not. I spend time just being mad that I am not losing weight quicker. I’m working on this, on improving myself and my brain, in telling myself that I am doing well, I’m on an excellent path. I think a lot of this stems from being younger and constantly being teased about being fat (especially by my brother, but most kids tend to torture their siblings and I know I had my fair share of pot shots at him), but that’s MY problem and nobody else’s. I chose to eat what I ate, even after I graduated from high school and after I moved to Seattle (when I put on the most weight). This is nobody’s fault but my own, and so I need to figure out how to get past the self-destructive thoughts.

What I will say though, is through all of these negative thoughts I have had, not once have I wanted to totally binge on shitty food (or at least not BECAUSE I feel upset). It used to be that I would stuff my face when I felt negative emotions. Someone called me fat? Oh, let me eat some cookies or greasy food to make myself better. But now, I don’t do that. If anything I just beat myself up for a little bit and then eat something healthy. Or use that negative emotion to make myself work out when I really don’t want to. This is the part I’m really proud of myself for and I feel like I’m finally taking the negative feelings and turning them into something positive, instead of shutting down and stuffing my emotions.

I think talking about how I feel, talking about how yes, sometimes I feel shitty about myself and my weight loss, and not denying any of that is really really important on this journey, or whatever you want to call it. If I’m not honest with myself, honest in how I sometimes compare myself to Matt and his weight loss (ugh I know, it’s bad and I try to make myself not do that) and can get jealous, honest in how I sometimes get annoyed when I feel like people are telling me I look “skinny” not because they genuinely think that, but just because they’re trying to be nice (this sounds ridiculously harsh and terrible but I can tell when someone is genuinely impressed with my weight loss vs. just being nice)…

Sometimes I need to be honest about these emotions in dealing with my weight loss and just SAY IT OUT LOUD. For the longest time I held in my negative feelings by stuffing them down with bad food. But I refuse to do that anymore and will be honest whenever I can be about how I truly feel.

So no, weight loss is not a 100% positive or glamorous experience. In fact, it’s really fucking difficult. Not so much in trying not stuffing my emotions away with food, but rather dealing with these negative thoughts that come up time and time again. I know it’s only going to continue as I lose more weight, but at least I am ready to deal with this all head on and not pretend that everything is perfect all the time. Because it isn’t, and this is me being honest and open about it.

2 Comments

Filed under Getting healthy, Reflections, Weight Loss

Frustrated, Disappointed and… Proud? What?

I haven’t written a whole lot lately. Part of it was due to wanting some quiet time, another part of it was my lack of wanting to discuss my weight loss, and another part of it was my obsessive planning of our trip to Disney World in January. Today I want to talk about my weight loss trials and tribulations and how that’s affected my writing… Tomorrow we’ll talk about how I’ve discovered I’m an obsessive planner when it comes to our trip.

So yes, weight loss. Guys, I’m frustrated again. And I think I might’ve screwed up my metabolism a bit. Back when I started this whole getting healthier thing, I planned on doing it by just eating less calories. I dropped my intake to 1500, thinking that sounded like a good amount because of some crazy calculations I did in my head. And it worked! I started dropping crazy weight, we’re talking a newborn baby per week. Then I thought to myself, hey let’s add exercise into this mix, I’ll lose even MORE weight! Right? Right?

Wrong.

Ever since I began exercising back in July-ish, my weight loss plummeted. I stopped losing the weight I’d been pulling before, in fact for a period of time I just sat around the same weight, even though I’d been eating 1500 calories and exercising.

It’s been a struggle since that point. I’m sitting at a weight loss of 55 pounds, but that fluctuates, too. I thought I was past my plateau but alas, I’m not. It’s been frustrating, but I’m actually starting to be okay with it. I know that if I continue to eat healthy and exercise, I’m at the minimum making myself healthier in doing so. Do I wish the fat would start going away? Of course.

I did more looking around and researching this weekend and realized that at my current weight, even with the 55 pounds weight loss (and still much left to go), I think I’ve been under-eating since I began working out. I tend to burn around 500 calories in my workouts alone, which would put me at a total intake of 1000 calories per day. I don’t think that’s healthy for someone at my weight, and I’m wondering if the reason I’ve been struggling with weight loss since the exercising began is due to my body being in starvation mode. I’m not 100% sure, but I’m beginning to suspect this.

Of course it took me 3 months to figure this out, and so begins a new experiment: Eating 2000 calories per day. No more 1500, 1700.. 2000 calories. I’ve realized this whole weight loss thing has been a bit of a science; you experiment with different amounts of calories, when you eat, how much you eat at different meals, what kind of exercise you’re doing, etc. It’s been a LOT of trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t work. I’ve come to realize that I feel silly for not thinking about this and how much I should be eating. It’s simple. Eat 2000 calories, burn 500, I’m sitting at the 1500 I used to eat pre-exercise days. I’m hoping this simple discovery leads to a more normal routine of losing weight every week, but I’m not holding my breath.

I think I was hoping not to hit a plateau this early. If anything, I was really hoping to lose 100 pounds and THEN deal with my first plateau. A bit part of this is just knowing how much more weight I have left to lose. I’ve gotten a lot better about not obsessing about numbers, (though with this post you’d think I haven’t) and I swear to you that I’m not actually that upset about it. Just disappointed is more like it. Does this mean I quit? Nope, it means I continue to try to figure out what works. This has been one huge experiment, and while it’s been remarkably frustrating at times, it’s also been an amazing journey thus far. I started this in April, and while I’m not at the 60-70 pounds I hoped to be at, 55 is NOTHING to sneeze at. It’s been 6 months so far and I’ve almost averaged 10 pounds per month!

I’m really proud of myself. This is the longest I’ve EVER gone in my life of trying to eat better/healthier. I’m proud because I’ve realized that this is my life, and it’s not going to change! When I think  about how I used to eat on a daily basis, I’m kind of shocked. It’s weird how you step away from eating fast food, bad frozen food, etc. and you could never imagine going back to eating that on a daily basis. I think having a cheat meal/day has REALLY helped us keep ourselves in check. Plus, it makes you appreciate your food more. There are days where I think about how a burger from some fast food place sounds really good, then I consider how it’d be for a cheat meal and think.. Uhh, no, if I’m doing a cheat meal, at least let it be something GOOD. So in turn, we haven’t had fast food since 6 months. WEIRD considering I used to have it multiple times. Once you step back and take a look at what you used to eat, it’s pretty surreal.

The next six months will be difficult. Since I’ve hit my plateau/minor weight losses, I think the next bit will be a lot of experimenting and trying to figure out what will get me back on track. I’m not asking to lose a puppy per week, but perhaps around 2-3 pounds isn’t asking for much. Especially not at my weight.

Okay, so, why is this an excuse for not blogging? Because there wasn’t much to discuss! I’ve been waiting to get back to losing weight so I could blog to you guys about my choices in food and how I broke through that plateau and have been steadily losing ever since, etc. But I haven’t. And in turn, it’s made me not want to talk about it. But now I’m willing to open up a bit more about it, about how not losing weight in recent times has been a bother, but I’m also learning how to deal with that and the emotions that come with it. Frustration, disappointment, you name it, I’ve felt it. I’m trying to turn it into being proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished thus far, and what I’m going to continue to accomplish. I’m still learning that, as you can see in this post of going back and forth on being frustrated/disappointed and also proud of myself. I try to focus on the overall picture and remind myself that, HELLO DANIELLE. 55 pounds is a LOT of weight. You’re 55 pounds lighter than you were 6 months ago, and a helluva lot healthier! Plus, though the weight loss has slowed down, at least it’s been mainly losses and not gains.

It might take longer than the 2 years I hoped for, but who cares? As long as I’m losing and learning how to maintain that weight loss, that is what matters. And I’m not doing it via some “new” diet (sorry, but that Paleo diet isn’t for me, nor is any other “diet”), I’m doing it the way people should lose weight. Eating less “bad” calories, eating healthier foods, and working out. It’s pretty simple, and sure it takes longer than dropping some silly amount of weight in a short period of time due to eating a ton of protein and whatever, but I’m willing to bet that I will have a much easier time maintaining my end weight than someone who is following a fad diet.

Anyway, hopping off my soapbox about “diets”… I’m hoping I have more to say now that I’m trying something new (with the whole 2,000 calories experiment), and I’ll let you guys know how that turns out. It’s going to take a week or two (maybe a month?)of trying it out, I assume, and seeing actual results (whether I gain, lose or maintain will be interesting to see!). I’ll do some talking (perhaps later this week, depending on how busy I am) about what I’m eating for those 500 extra calories. Regardless of what happens, it should be an interesting experiment to say the least! Adjusting my normal caloric intake with adding 500 healthy calories isn’t an easy task.

1 Comment

Filed under Exercise, Getting healthy, Weight Loss

Lifestyle updates!

I’ve been thinking about my eating habits as of late, really thinking about what most of my meals have been comprised of, and I’ve gotta say, I’m pretty happy with myself. I’ve actually moved onto eating a lot more fruits and vegetables than even before. We’ve also been eating a lot of lean proteins for dinner. Baked fish, salads with chicken, salad wraps, etc. My new favorite thing that I made this week, which I have no idea why I didn’t try out before was a chicken stir fry. We dumped in a ton of broccoli, mushrooms, sugar snap peas, chicken, and Walla Walla sweet onion with teriyaki sauce…

*Speaking of Walla Wallas, guys, if you haven’t tried these you’re missing out. They’re so sweet and delicious that some people eat them like an apple. They don’t have that intense onion taste after you bite into it – you know, the one where it leaves you tasting onion for the rest of the day, no matter what you eat – and are absolutely amazing in any dish.

Anyway, said stir fry was delightful and filling and low-calorie!

Fruits have been a big part of my diet as well. I tend to have some sort of fruit with my breakfast and also a banana after every work out on my train ride home.

Oh and I’ve been on a major salad kick at work. We have this really awesome flatbread place around here that makes a kick-ass Caesar salad for 320 calories (or a wrap for 390!). So good and filling, I thoroughly enjoy it and eat it on a near-daily basis.

On the exercise front, I’ve been hitting up the gym 3-4 times a week. My schedule’s been wonky lately, with lots of random things popping up, but I tend to make it there at LEAST 3 times, if not 4, and I love it. I’ve gotten so much more in shape in just this short amount of time. I’ve also noticed by heart rate has gone down a bit while working out which is good.. Looks like my cardio is starting to improve as well. And I’ve been really pushing myself with weights, working them out and focusing on different parts of my body on different days.

We have our weigh-in on Saturday. It will have been 2 weeks since the last one, so here’s hoping I went down since the last time we weighed ourselves. Even if I’m the same weight, I’ll actually be okay. I’m feeling good, definitely can see the difference, so that’s what matters. I’m also going to start measuring my arms, waist, hips, thighs and bust, because that will also indicate that though my weight might not be dropping as rapidly as it did before, I’m definitely looking more toned and losing fat while building muscle. Plus, my face isn’t as ginormous as it was before, which I, for one, definitely appreciate.

That’s kind of it on the healthy lifestyle front at the moment, though I have some other thoughts I want to discuss, on how hard it can be sometimes to be eating healthier and the reactions you get from those around you. It’s definitely something I didn’t foresee when we made this decision, and it’s not necessarily angering, but more interesting and yes, sometimes frustrating.

2 Comments

Filed under Getting healthy

Stepping back from the scale

Photo from google images; not mine!

I’ve had something on my mind as of late… and it’s about the whole numbers game, the whole weighing myself weekly, dealing with weight gain. The past 2 weeks have been gains. Overall I’m up 3 pounds. I had a really hard time dealing with this after my week of workouts and pushing myself even harder, eating more fruits and veggies, and just being all-around healthy. To step on the scale and see another 2 pounds added on, I can’t lie, it bothered me. I felt pretty bummed out, like all of this work was for nothing.. I fell into the trap that I promised myself I wouldn’t fall into when I decided to change my lifestyle for the better. The GOOD part is, it wasn’t the same trap that I used to fall into, in which I’d give up and start eating bad. That’s not even on my mind, so I’m actually happy that my way of thinking has changed, and that I’ve made such a change in my life, the thought of going back to eating that way wasn’t even something that came into my mind… But anyway.

After listening to numerous people tell me the same advice, I’m finally going to listen. I’m stepping back from the scale, and if anything, writing this to solidify the fact that I will no longer obsess over numbers. I think what’s been hardest is knowing that I have such a long way to go, and hitting gains this early really worries me. But I need to remind myself that this is a journey; it’s not like The Biggest Loser or that other show where these people lose a remarkable amount of weight in a mere few months.

I set out to do this, to change my life, over a 2 year period to lose enough weight to feel comfortable with the thought of having kids in a safe manner. So why the hell am I getting so down on myself when it’s 3 1/2 months in and I’ve lost a good amount of weight? I’m eating healthier than I ever have in years. I’m more active and am pushing myself the most that I have since I was a sophomore in college. I should be proud, so proud! But because of some dumb numbers, numbers that could be from me retaining water, being bloated (because I, like a lot of other ladies, balloon when I’m PMSing), or even have a full stomach of food, I’m sitting here being really hard on myself. I need to stop obsessing with these numbers on the scale.

The only number game I want to be playing is with my calories during the day. That’s something that I will continue to do because it keeps me in check… Though I’ve gotten pretty good about knowing what most foods I consume contain. It helps when you’re eating a lot of the same fruits, veggies and proteins on a daily basis. We take breaks from counting on the weekends just to keep our sanity.. You look at food very differently, so you definitely think a minute about what you’re putting into your mouth.

I’m not putting the scale away, so instead of weekly weigh-ins I think switching to bi-weekly will be a better option for now. As we lose more, probably down to every three weeks. I need to make sure I’m still on track, but I’m not going to obsess with the scale anymore.

What I will focus on is how I feel after those workouts, how I look in the mirror and feel good about myself, how I’m starting to have certain clothes not even fit me anymore because they’re too big. I need to stop being so hard on myself, stop focusing on what I need to lose and start focusing on myself and feeling good how my body is changing.

It’s not really an easy task, honestly. When you’ve been so down on yourself for so long and your self-image has been pretty terrible in the past, it’s really easy to continue sitting in that negativity versus looking at the positives. I’m kind of mad at myself for falling into that; I’ve always gotten really frustrated with people when they look at only the negatives in their life versus the positives. I’ve been a hypocrite and really haven’t stopped to just give myself a damn pat on the back or looked at how much ass I’ve been kicking… To stop and realize, “Danielle, you’ve done a great job, keep it up.”

So blinded by the numbers I haven’t stopped to just enjoy where I am and where I’m going. This is big, and I need to stop and be proud of what I’ve done, proud of what’s to come, and most of all, be proud of myself. Honestly and truly proud of myself, regardless of what they scale says when I step on it.

1 Comment

Filed under Exercise, Getting healthy, Weight Loss

I’m annoyed, look out!

Guys, I’m not going to lie. I’m frustrated and annoyed. Today is one of those days where everything just annoys me. I’m not sure if you’ve ever had one of them, but it’s like even the littlest things can set you off. Between work stuff and my train being late and the weekend being over and working late on Friday night and gaining weight after a week where I consciously ate more fruits and veggies… I’m kind of done.

I know, first world problems over here, but it’s all starting to add up. I try to stay pretty positive when something minor frustrates me, but for some reason this morning is just… I’ve hit a wall I guess. I’m not entirely sure HOW to get out of this little crappy funk, but I’m pretty sure being at work isn’t going to solve that. This is why I hate not having personal days or sick days, but rather just straight up PTO. Because I’m pretty sure I’d have taken a personal day today if I had the choice. Unfortunately I spent PTO on my stupid tooth ache a few weeks ago and I’m now trying to save up my PTO for the holidays. So I basically have to suck it up at this point.

But yeah, back to the weight thing for a moment. I gained what ORIGINALLY was 4 pounds, and I think my head nearly popped off my body in frustration Friday morning seeing that number. After working into Friday evening, Matt and I decided not to go to the cabin (though we’re going in a few weekends instead), so I was able to re-weigh myself Saturday morning. I did not feel okay with having gained 4 pounds, and fortunately Saturday morning brought me down to only a 1 pound weight gain in the week. Still frustrating, but I’m much more apt to believe that I gained a pound of muscle over the week (or at least I can tell myself that). Even then, though, it was frustrating after all of my week’s workouts and making sure I ate a ton of fruits and veggies every day. So I hope it was just a temporary gain and that I’ll go back to losing this week, but who knows?

This whole weight loss thing is tricky. Some weeks you step on the scale and feel great about making progress.. but then you have these weeks where you gain and you feel like crap. It’s helpful to have Matt (and for him to have me) on these weeks of gain, to encourage each other that it’s a temporary thing, that everyone has weeks where they gain weight, but to keep going. It’s my hope that this week is a week of weight loss, but if it’s not I know I have to keep my head up.

I do think I’m going to try a little experiment this week with my caloric intake. On days I workout, I think increasing my calories by 100-200 calories may help weight loss. I remember when I was on Weight Watchers a few years ago, I’d work out and was allowed to eat half of those calories I burned. I noticed that weeks where I didn’t eat the extra calories, I actually lost less weight than I did when I ate some of those calories burned… I think it had something to do with making sure my body didn’t go into starvation mode? Not sure.

So this week will be a little experiment, and I’m not going to freak out if I gain weight. It’ll let me know that I should stick with my normal calories but keep up the work outs.

Writing this all out made me feel a bit less annoyed, and I’m thinking the whole weight thing was on my mind/bothered me more than I wanted to admit. It’s a new week, new experiment, so let’s hope things are better on the weight loss front by this weekend.

3 Comments

Filed under Getting healthy, Weight Loss

My face shrunk!

So I lost another 3.4 pounds last week, putting me at 45 pounds, and 5 shy of the big 5-0. While I’ve been trying to not focus entirely on weight, I have finally started to actually see that I’ve lost weight. I mean, my clothes have definitely started to fit much looser (especially my argyle sweaters I can no longer wear, along with my work slacks that almost fell down this morning as I ran for a bus, yeah that would’ve been a sight), but last night I finally noticed that my face has gotten skinnier since last January. I thought it might be fun to post a comparison photo of me on my honeymoon vs. now (and cut me some slack, I took this photo last night right before bed, so my hair is a little bit fro-ish).

20110718-102016.jpg

Kind of crazy, no? I mean it’s nothing epic but I am definitely starting to have less of a double chin, and my cheeks are waaaay less chubby. I’m actually pretty excited about this revelation, as I realized in also comparing myself back to a photo in 2008, this is the lightest I’ve been in awhile. Definitely a motivator to keep me going on my journey, and I really can’t wait until I’ve lost enough to feel comfortable posting full-body photos. While it’s definitely started to show, I’ll save those for later when I can really show off the difference. 🙂

4 Comments

Filed under Getting healthy, Weight Loss