Category Archives: Humor

Nerd Alert! Video Game Chatter

Note: Every photo (except the one of the drawings) in this post was found on Google Images. I am not claiming they’re mine and they are just being used for visual purposes for my little blog post. 🙂

So I’ve never really discussed this in depth on here, only once or twice have I mentioned how much of a video game nerd I am. I love them; I always have since I was a little kid and we had the Atari. I would watch my Dad try to beat BurgerTime, and even as a little kid I’d play Pac Man and that Popeye game (that was similar to Donkey Kong but you had to collect hearts and try to save Olive from Bluto.. Anyone else remember that one?)

Speaking of BurgerTime, this is one of my Dad’s favorite video game stories… He got addicted to BurgerTime when I was really young and still learning new words. Apparently, the game sometimes upset him (as he ran around trying to drop those layers of ingredients to complete the burgers, while throwing pepper on the damn hot dogs, and literally yelling PEPPER! PEPPER!), and he would utter a “fuck” or “dammit!, not really thinking much of it.

No big deal… until we were in the car, on our way to a family friend’s house, and strapped in my car seat, I started saying it. “Fuck… fuck!” in my little voice. Both of my parents were appalled. How did I learn such terrible words? How were they going to get me to stop saying it before we showed up at our friends house?! Pretty sure I ended up keeping quiet, and both my parents initially thought my older brother Eric taught me the words. That is, until my Dad was playing BurgerTime again a few days later, dropped the good ol’ F bomb, and as he looked at me watching him play, soon realized it was him. He had taught me the F word. I think at that point he finally stopped playing, and so ended Daddio’s days of video games.

That was just the start of my love though, really. We had the Nintendo, though most of that time I spent watching Eric play Excitebike or Mike Tyson’s Punchout. There were a few times I played Super Mario 3 at my friend Liz’s house, always making sure to use the whistle found in World 1 to warp to a new land… I also remember getting the SNES for Christmas one year, and watching Eric play through Super Mario World. I was totally fascinated by little Mario running around on Yoshi, flying with his cape, and how amazing it was when Eric transformed the whole world into different colors and the Koopa Troopas turned into Mario bobbleheads after beating all of the “Special” levels (and goddammit, Tubular was always the most difficult level, with ballooned Asian Mario flying through the whole thing!). I was hooked. I started playing on my own more often, determined to get to Eric’s skills after he’d moved onto Mortal Kombat. Mario Kart was no different. Playing as Koopa Troopa, I destroyed any and all opponents, even on the hardest of hard levels, Rainbow Road.

Things kind of took off from there. We got the Sega Genesis at my Dad’s house, allowing us to play Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (I was obsessed with the Casino levels as I’d just sit and try to get lots of rings from the slot machines), and even NCAA College Football and basketball. I think that’s where my love for sports games came into action.

It only continued from there. We got the N64, where I obsessively made sure to get every star in Super Mario 64. I also got hooked to Mario Party 64, often playing it at my friend Leah’s house on Friday nights in high school, mashing the buttons and giving ourselves blisters, haha… I think it brought out the perfectionist in me; I needed to make sure I completed every possible achievement in the games. I’m still like this, to a certain extent.

College was a lot of Game Cube and Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker. That was my main system at that time. I think I’ve always had a pretty serious allegiance to Nintendo, though I’ve expanded to other systems now. Matt’s just as big of (and even bigger) a video game fan as I am, so of course we own a PS3, Wii and um, 2 360s. It think somewhere in our garage we even have the Nintendo Virtual Boy which is actually still in working condition. I’ve played a few online games, mainly World of Warcraft… but I realized after multiple times of playing and then quitting, any game that requires you to be online for hours upon hours and becomes almost like a second job isn’t really a game. Last time I gave it a shot, I played for a few months and quit again, as it was no longer much fun.

Anyway, work had made me stressed out as of late, and when I got home after my work outs, I wanted nothing more than to just play a video game. Have some fun, escape into a fantasy world… So that’s why I’ve been MIA for the past week. I’ve been spending my free time playing mindless games (or well, more specifically, playing Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood online, which includes stalking other Renaissance-type characters and killing them with swords and little knives and all sorts of stuff), and you know what? I’ve enjoyed the hell out of it. So while I apologize for a lack of updates, I’ve just been having too much fun with games and it’s been just what I need.

I’ve also been in a super video game and board game type of mood as of late because PAX Prime is in 8 days! PAX is a huge video game and board game convention held in Seattle every year, where around 70,000 people attend and get to try out new video games that are going to be released, try out new board games, listen to panels, meet new people, and all around have a good time. Matt and I went for the first time last year, in the homestretch of wedding planning, and it was a blast. It was so much fun to get away from thinking about the wedding for a few days, to not have to stress about anything and just go have fun. We even were able to meet some Disney artists (who were there for Epic Mickey), and had custom drawings made for us. They now hang in our upstairs hallway.

I’m really excited to go again this year, as I’ve found that not only is it super fun, but it just allows you to be yourself, to meet some good people, and not worry for a few days about anything. Sure, there are a few people there who choose not to be hygienic, and a few who are welp, jerks, but I’d say 95% of the people are pretty awesome. So yes, expect a big update with photos of all the things we get to see or we able to do while at PAX.

Long story short; I’m a video game nerd, I have been since I was little, and I’m proud of it.


Leave a comment

Filed under Humor

Lists, lists, and more lists

So I’ve been kind of procrastinating on doing my blog for today. Mainly because I’ve been working on some other pretty important things, but also because I was honestly running a blank on what to write about. I then remembered reading a book about lists; grocery, to-dos, etc. It was actually more amusing than you’d think. So this got me thinking… What lists do I have of my own?

I dug out my iPhone and went through and was shocked to learn that I haven’t deleted all of my lists, and in fact, I had a few that puzzled me or amused me.

I found one from awhile ago, and it was a huge slap in the face of how terrible I was eating. Ingredients for a not low-cal quiche, crescent rolls and “weenies” (haha this made me laugh), and crappy frozen food… I’m glad we made the change to healthier foods and a healthier lifestyle.. Amazing how your shopping list changes.

The next one puzzled me. 4 really random items, that I most definitely don’t eat… But then I remembered it was stuff for Matt, post-tooth extraction. I’ve never seen someone in so much pain or so exhausted from a dentist appointment.

Fun fact: Our dentist actually keeps Matt’s tooth on his desk (weird, I know) as he said it was his most challenging tooth extraction ever.

I found a list for packing for our honeymoon. This just made me miss the crap out of Disney World. We had the best time ever on that trip; it was our first real vacation together. I’d like to go back with Matt again, before we have kids one last time, and then surprise our kids in the future. Disney is near and dear to us.

Also, I realized I bring a LOT of electronics/gadgets with me on trips. Maaaaybe I should start packing a little lighter, haha.

I’d say my favorite list I found was from 292 days ago, July 28th, 2010. I actually remember sitting down and writing this list with Matt as we laid in our bed, still reeling from the fact that we’d been living in our house for only a month, stressing out over everything we needed to do for the wedding.

No wonder we were so stressed… Just reading this list now is overwhelming! Yet I remember that night, having a near-anxiety attack as Matt calmed me down, letting me know we would get every single item done on that list. Going through it right now, we somehow (with some help from our friends and family) actually got it all done.

It’s a bittersweet reminder of how wonderful the day turned out and how many people helped us prepare on that day, but it’s also a reminder of how stressful wedding planning could be. I don’t miss the lists, the delegating, the favor-making, and how much of our time was consumed by it all. I loved our wedding, it was a beautiful day that I will never forget. But I like being married a lot more.

Who would’ve thought looking at lists could actually be fun? It’s weird how those lists of random items can bring you back to certain times and bring back vivid memories. I’m actually glad I still have them stored on my phone just so I can randomly remember these significant moments through insignificant notes. I totally can’t delete them now; I like remembering these little moments in my life.

1 Comment

Filed under Humor, Reflections

This is my dog. His name is Milo.

Little note: Wow, so I was pretty surprised at the amount of feedback on got on the post about healthy breakfasts. Number one, it was the most views I’ve ever received since I began my blog, and number two, the most comments. Pretty awesome and exciting to see so many people having amazing suggestions for breakfast. I’m really excited to steal some of these ideas from you guys. Look for another post soon about what I’ve been eating for lunch, and that is definitely one I’m looking for suggestions on because my lunch is kind of boring. Not bad, just boring. Anyway, on to my post about my dog…

Milo is my pug/mini pinscher mix. More often than not, people mistake him for a Puggle, but he’s not. I knew I wanted a pug or pug mix the second I moved out to Seattle, and found Milo on craigslist in what I ended up suspecting was a bad situation. We drove up to Lake Stevens a day after I’d moved here, to a crappy house with a woman who screamed at her kid who was running around the house in just his white skivvies… Yeah. It was an interesting situation. As soon as we saw Milo, we knew he was it. The way he looked into our eyes was what got us; he looked like a sweet little puppy who needed a good home.

After we left what seemed to be the house from hell, I was glad we adopted him and got him out of the situation he was in.. He was extremely skinny and I’m pretty sure he was abused or at least was not in a safe space for a dog. The house was a bit of a mess and the people screamed a LOT at each other, even as we were sitting there. Needless to say, Milo was pretty happy to be with us.

Unfortunately, Milo seemed to love us a little too much, and was scared to death of other people. He was absolutely attached to my hip at all times, and even though we had a lot of friends and family over, he just did not warm up to them at all. I thought pugs were supposed to be super friendly, so I did a little research on his mix (pug/mini pins are also known as carlin pinschers) and came across the following from this site:

Temperament: The Carlin Pinscher is patient, pleasant, playful and outgoing. It is best to socialize the Carlin Pinscher with humans and other dogs when young to prevent it from becoming overly aggressive or suspicious of strangers. The Carlin Pinscher is fond of children but its personal space must be respected. It should be supervised around young children for its protection and theirs because this dog will bite and scratch when harassed.

Milo had not been socialized with strangers or people. He stayed inside a lot and spent most of his time playing with another dog but rarely had interactions with strangers. We got him when he was 9 months and it felt like it was too late. We’ve worked continuously over the years with getting him better with people.

When we finally moved to a huge house with a big backyard, we saw a dramatic change in his behavior towards strangers. We were even able to go on our honeymoon while our friends Bruce and Amy watched Milo and Anya (our other dog who will be getting her very own post in the near future), and Milo actually cuddled with them. This was unheard of and really exciting to see Milo finally making progress and realizing not all people are demons who want to eat him for dinner (because that’s seriously what he thinks in his little mind).

Anyway, outside of his issues with strangers, Milo is the probably the funniest dog ever. He often goes into what Matt and I call “Dobbles mode.” He runs around, throws himself on the floor, and snorts. He grabs as many stuffed animals with squeakies as possible and goes on a squeaking rampage (as seen in the video below on Christmas Day, 2009):

He also likes to grab his dog food in the breakfast nook area, run out into the living room where we are, drop all of his food kibbles he’s proudly carried in his mouth, and then proceed to eat his food off the carpet. He also does this while in the middle of playing with Anya; he runs into the kitchen, grabs food, and nomnomnoms it down. We like to call it his “snack break.”

His nightly ritual consists of playing with his favorite toy (currently it’s his lamb that my Mom got for him, which he tore the eyes out of but takes good care of otherwise, makes total sense right?), then bringing said toy to the top of the bed, dropping it off to me or Matt, then scratching at the covers until we let him under. He then makes his way down to my feet/legs and snuggles up for the night. Sometimes he gets too hot and will make his way up to sleep between Matt and me. It’s pretty darn cute.

Sometimes Matt is cruel and will take his toy from him, like in this video I took tonight:

Oh yeah, Milo is kind of obsessed with being warm, being snuggled, and being smushed. He will love you forever if you have a blanket near you. If there is a little space between you and the couch, he will do whatever it takes to wedge himself into that little spot. One time we kind of “lost” Milo in our apartment though (don’t mind that fact that it was a disaster; I have no idea how we lived as 2 people, 2 dogs and a cat in that dinky apartment for so long):

I will leave you with one final ridiculous story about Milo. One night, Matt and I came home from a trip to Costco, and were carrying everything in, with Matt ahead of me and already down the stairs leading to our apartment. As I made my way down with a big box in my hands, I miscalculated what I thought was the final step and took a nice tumble down the stairs, bagels and other items going everywhere. Matt was halfway in the door when he heard me fall/crying (falling down concrete stairs will do that to you), and turned around to see if I was okay.

As he turned, both Milo and Anya made a run for it out the door, with Anya stopping when Matt called her name. Milo on the other hand looked at Matt, looked at me, and as Matt bellowed out a stern, “Milooooo…”, Milo promptly turned around and booked it as fast as possible down the street. As I laid on the ground amongst the bagels and and frozen chicken I’d lost during my graceful tumble, I looked at Matt who yelled in a panic, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! Should I stay with you or go after Milo?!” I told him to go after Milo and that I would be okay. Matt turned and booked it down the street, in hopes that he would find our fat little evil turd dog. As I got myself up onto my feet (with a nasty bloody knee), I got Anya inside and then went to help Matt find Milo.

Picture this in your head: Me hobbling down the street calling out Milo’s name, Matt about 50 yards in front of me running as fast as he can, and Milo running along, stopping to pee on bushes and people’s lawns, turning back to see us calling his name/running after him, then continuing to book it away from us as if this was some fun game, with Milo singing, “Run, run, as fast as you can, you can’t catch me I’m the Gingerbread man!”

In retrospect, it was a pretty hilarious scene I’m sure. When Matt finally caught the little stinker, Milo did his whole cowering low to the ground, fully knowing he was in big trouble. Matt carried him home under his arm, as I followed back hobbling along, hoping that no one in the neighborhood had watched that entire embarrassing scene.

Milo has pulled many stunts in his time, going on tours of the neighborhood, leaving us “presents” when he was angry with us in our apartment, digging a hole through our carpet when we left him home for the first time ever, and eating cat poop (AKA Kitty Roca, it’s a delicacy) whenever he can get his little mouth into the cat litter (cat poop vomit is the worst thing ever, especially when your dog vomits ON you)…

But we still love him nonetheless. He’s our little buddy, Anya’s best friend, and I would not change a thing about him… except maybe his love for cat poop, because seriously that was the worst experience ever.


Filed under Humor, Our dogs

How I ended up with a subconjunctival hemmorhage on my wedding day.

I’ve been having a difficult time at work as of late, feeling really negative about it and being pretty overwhelmed and emotional and ugh, yeah, it’s basically been rough. Today was no exception, so needless to say I was pretty happy to escape work and get the heck home. I’ve finally gotten a moment to write today’s post, and have been sitting here for awhile thinking about what I wanted to write about. I wanted something light and funny, and it immediately popped into my head; I have to tell the story about how I ended up with a broken blood vessel in my eye on my wedding day.

So let’s go back around 6 months, to the Wednesday before my wedding. Some friends of mine decided to throw me my bachelorette 2 days before our wedding. The plan was to go out for the night while my Dad (who was staying at our house), Matt and some other friends hung out at home and relaxed. It was also the only time my bridesmaid and best friend Leah could make it, and so Leah, along with a lot of my friends who live in Seattle, took me out for a fun night in the city. We began our adventure in the car with your typical bachelorette stuff, inappropriate straws and necklaces, the bride-to-be sash, a tiara with a veil, and all that lovely stuff. I was all for it because what the hell, it would be fun to let loose and have some fun with my friends!

I wasn’t told where we were going to, but we ended up at Peso’s in Queen Anne. I was pretty excited about this because Peso’s has amazing food, good drinks and is an awesome-looking bar. Everyone met up and we ordered drinks and food and chatted it up. I immediately ordered a house margarita, and of course was told I could only drink using my inappropriate straw. By the time our food made it’s way out, I’d already had 2 margaritas but felt totally fine. I knew I was in for a night of drinking, but had told myself (and Matt) that it wouldn’t be anything crazy, just a fun night out. After receiving probably the best and most inappropriate cake (from the one and only Erotic Bakery), we finished up dinner and headed out to our next location.

From where we were, I had a strong feeling we’d end up at one of the best places for bachelorette parties, Chopstix, which is a dueling piano bar, also located in Queen Anne. I’d been there once before for a friend’s birthday, and it was fun to request songs and everyone is encouraged to drink and sing along. So we found a place to sit, noticed there were a few other bachelorettes (and a random couple) there, and the drinks started magically appearing in front of me. It all started out in fun; we sang along to “Sweet Caroline” and laughed and the drinks continued to somehow magically appear in front of me. I don’t even know how many drinks I’d had before I was suddenly on stage dancing with some other bachelorette who was so tanked she made the piano player feel uncomfortable. You see, I don’t do the whole dancing on stage thing… unless I’m drunk. Next thing I remember, I’m just absolutely done for. And I have to pee.

As soon as I stand up, the Jollyranchers, the wedding cake shots, the AMFs, among the other ridiculously-titled drinks I consumed all hit me like a ton of bricks. The room is swirling around me like I’m on a merry-go-around and my friends are holding me up. I’m drunker than I ever wanted to be and I knew I was in bad shape. We somehow made our way out of the bar, and I am so beyond drunk I ask my friends to stop so I can take a breather.

At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m not escaping a visit from my good friend, Puke Yukemeister. My concern, however, is that I am standing in the middle of a street at midnight on a Wednesday night in Seattle. I do not want to get arrested for public intoxication. My saintly friends (no seriously, they took care of me and deserve a medal for being so amazing) Leah and Erin somehow get me to move from the sidewalk near the bar across the street. I tell them I need to sit, and I find a spot to nicely sit down in. Then Puke Yukemeister appears and welp, there goes my dinner and everything else with it. I don’t remember much from this point except that a few guys walked by as I was projectile vomiting into a bush, Leah was so nauseated by the smell that she had to stay about 20 feet away from me, and Erin somehow magically had a roll of paper towels in her hands and was telling me it was okay.

After I was done leaving my presents for that poor little street in Queen Anne, I don’t remember much except getting in the car with Leah (who was of course sober), and telling her we couldn’t tell Matt that I got so drunk I threw up.

I passed out until we got into the driveway, and Leah had an entire plan as to how we were going to avoid telling Matt I threw up. As we pulled into the driveway of my house, and mind you it was raining at this point, I remember seeing the front door open and Matt walking outside with a water bottle. Leah and I got out of the car and as Leah began to tell Matt our awesome fake lie about what happened, I looked at Matt and burst into tears and sobbed, “I.. threw.. uuupp.” I threw my drunken, hot mess self into his arms and I’m pretty sure Leah threw her arms up in the air wondering what the hell the point of our elaborate fake story was.

I continued to stand out in the rain, sobbing to Matt about who knows what, but I’m pretty sure I cried the hardest when I learned that my Dad was still awake and waiting for us to come home.

Oh my God. I’d never once in my life, even in my rebellious teenage years, come home drunk in front of my own Dad. I couldn’t face him, I told Matt I just couldn’t bear to go inside and disappoint my Dad. Somehow Matt and Leah got me inside and I remember immediately booking it upstairs and probably mumbled something to my Dad to the effect that I was sorry and had to go to bed.

As we went to bed that night, I told Matt everything I could remember. He made fun of me for thinking that I could honestly think that he wouldn’t know that I got so drunk I threw up. He told me I smelled like pure alcohol and throw up. He still brings it up today and makes fun of me for it (and I totally let him).

That night I didn’t sleep well and felt absolutely horrible. I woke up Thursday morning (day we were picking up the flowers and also the day of our rehearsal dinner) with the worst hangover of my life. I remember having to face my Dad who, thank God, laughed at me and told me that I had to pay the price. I was pretty happy that he wasn’t disappointed in me (because you never want to disappoint your Dad!). Later on, as I was about to take a shower I looked into the mirror, and my eyes were so swollen I could barely open them. As I went to grab something, I realized my eyes were in terrible pain, like someone has punched my eyeballs. That’s when I noticed it. The horrible, monstrous-looking eyeball.

Yes, this is an actual photo of my eye right after I looked in the mirror that morning.

I knew it would only get worse. I’d had this happen before when I got food poisoning and the blood spread throughout the whites of my eye. I hoped and prayed it would just stay the way it was (as if that wasn’t already terrifying enough), but throughout the day the blood began to spread.

By Friday, the day of our wedding, the entire left side of my left eyeball was blood-red. It was pretty horrifying-looking. Fortunately, if I angled my head and looked to the left, the scary portion of my eyeball was hidden. So I ended up taking the majority of our photos at that angle, and also told the photographer to try not to shoot any photos that would have me looking to the right (or I would punch him in the face – okay not really but you get the point).

While most brides would probably freak out (and some bridezillas would’ve canceled their wedding), I just figured I had to deal with it and at least I could laugh about it. Months and months later, though not one of my proudest moments, it’s something I can laugh at with my friends and Matt, who I totally allow to make fun of me and my stupidity for that night.

Oh, and if you’re reading this and are family who I told a little fib to about what had happened (I think I told some of you that I burst the blood vessel while sneezing, ha), I’m sorry I lied to you. At the time I was pretty embarrassed and didn’t have it in my heart to tell you that I totally did it by having a little too much fun at my bachelorette and throwing up in the middle of a street in Queen Anne.

1 Comment

Filed under Adulthood, Humor, Marriage