Frustrated, Disappointed and… Proud? What?

I haven’t written a whole lot lately. Part of it was due to wanting some quiet time, another part of it was my lack of wanting to discuss my weight loss, and another part of it was my obsessive planning of our trip to Disney World in January. Today I want to talk about my weight loss trials and tribulations and how that’s affected my writing… Tomorrow we’ll talk about how I’ve discovered I’m an obsessive planner when it comes to our trip.

So yes, weight loss. Guys, I’m frustrated again. And I think I might’ve screwed up my metabolism a bit. Back when I started this whole getting healthier thing, I planned on doing it by just eating less calories. I dropped my intake to 1500, thinking that sounded like a good amount because of some crazy calculations I did in my head. And it worked! I started dropping crazy weight, we’re talking a newborn baby per week. Then I thought to myself, hey let’s add exercise into this mix, I’ll lose even MORE weight! Right? Right?

Wrong.

Ever since I began exercising back in July-ish, my weight loss plummeted. I stopped losing the weight I’d been pulling before, in fact for a period of time I just sat around the same weight, even though I’d been eating 1500 calories and exercising.

It’s been a struggle since that point. I’m sitting at a weight loss of 55 pounds, but that fluctuates, too. I thought I was past my plateau but alas, I’m not. It’s been frustrating, but I’m actually starting to be okay with it. I know that if I continue to eat healthy and exercise, I’m at the minimum making myself healthier in doing so. Do I wish the fat would start going away? Of course.

I did more looking around and researching this weekend and realized that at my current weight, even with the 55 pounds weight loss (and still much left to go), I think I’ve been under-eating since I began working out. I tend to burn around 500 calories in my workouts alone, which would put me at a total intake of 1000 calories per day. I don’t think that’s healthy for someone at my weight, and I’m wondering if the reason I’ve been struggling with weight loss since the exercising began is due to my body being in starvation mode. I’m not 100% sure, but I’m beginning to suspect this.

Of course it took me 3 months to figure this out, and so begins a new experiment: Eating 2000 calories per day. No more 1500, 1700.. 2000 calories. I’ve realized this whole weight loss thing has been a bit of a science; you experiment with different amounts of calories, when you eat, how much you eat at different meals, what kind of exercise you’re doing, etc. It’s been a LOT of trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t work. I’ve come to realize that I feel silly for not thinking about this and how much I should be eating. It’s simple. Eat 2000 calories, burn 500, I’m sitting at the 1500 I used to eat pre-exercise days. I’m hoping this simple discovery leads to a more normal routine of losing weight every week, but I’m not holding my breath.

I think I was hoping not to hit a plateau this early. If anything, I was really hoping to lose 100 pounds and THEN deal with my first plateau. A bit part of this is just knowing how much more weight I have left to lose. I’ve gotten a lot better about not obsessing about numbers, (though with this post you’d think I haven’t) and I swear to you that I’m not actually that upset about it. Just disappointed is more like it. Does this mean I quit? Nope, it means I continue to try to figure out what works. This has been one huge experiment, and while it’s been remarkably frustrating at times, it’s also been an amazing journey thus far. I started this in April, and while I’m not at the 60-70 pounds I hoped to be at, 55 is NOTHING to sneeze at. It’s been 6 months so far and I’ve almost averaged 10 pounds per month!

I’m really proud of myself. This is the longest I’ve EVER gone in my life of trying to eat better/healthier. I’m proud because I’ve realized that this is my life, and it’s not going to change! When I think  about how I used to eat on a daily basis, I’m kind of shocked. It’s weird how you step away from eating fast food, bad frozen food, etc. and you could never imagine going back to eating that on a daily basis. I think having a cheat meal/day has REALLY helped us keep ourselves in check. Plus, it makes you appreciate your food more. There are days where I think about how a burger from some fast food place sounds really good, then I consider how it’d be for a cheat meal and think.. Uhh, no, if I’m doing a cheat meal, at least let it be something GOOD. So in turn, we haven’t had fast food since 6 months. WEIRD considering I used to have it multiple times. Once you step back and take a look at what you used to eat, it’s pretty surreal.

The next six months will be difficult. Since I’ve hit my plateau/minor weight losses, I think the next bit will be a lot of experimenting and trying to figure out what will get me back on track. I’m not asking to lose a puppy per week, but perhaps around 2-3 pounds isn’t asking for much. Especially not at my weight.

Okay, so, why is this an excuse for not blogging? Because there wasn’t much to discuss! I’ve been waiting to get back to losing weight so I could blog to you guys about my choices in food and how I broke through that plateau and have been steadily losing ever since, etc. But I haven’t. And in turn, it’s made me not want to talk about it. But now I’m willing to open up a bit more about it, about how not losing weight in recent times has been a bother, but I’m also learning how to deal with that and the emotions that come with it. Frustration, disappointment, you name it, I’ve felt it. I’m trying to turn it into being proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished thus far, and what I’m going to continue to accomplish. I’m still learning that, as you can see in this post of going back and forth on being frustrated/disappointed and also proud of myself. I try to focus on the overall picture and remind myself that, HELLO DANIELLE. 55 pounds is a LOT of weight. You’re 55 pounds lighter than you were 6 months ago, and a helluva lot healthier! Plus, though the weight loss has slowed down, at least it’s been mainly losses and not gains.

It might take longer than the 2 years I hoped for, but who cares? As long as I’m losing and learning how to maintain that weight loss, that is what matters. And I’m not doing it via some “new” diet (sorry, but that Paleo diet isn’t for me, nor is any other “diet”), I’m doing it the way people should lose weight. Eating less “bad” calories, eating healthier foods, and working out. It’s pretty simple, and sure it takes longer than dropping some silly amount of weight in a short period of time due to eating a ton of protein and whatever, but I’m willing to bet that I will have a much easier time maintaining my end weight than someone who is following a fad diet.

Anyway, hopping off my soapbox about “diets”… I’m hoping I have more to say now that I’m trying something new (with the whole 2,000 calories experiment), and I’ll let you guys know how that turns out. It’s going to take a week or two (maybe a month?)of trying it out, I assume, and seeing actual results (whether I gain, lose or maintain will be interesting to see!). I’ll do some talking (perhaps later this week, depending on how busy I am) about what I’m eating for those 500 extra calories. Regardless of what happens, it should be an interesting experiment to say the least! Adjusting my normal caloric intake with adding 500 healthy calories isn’t an easy task.

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When things get difficult…

I haven’t really wanted to write a whole lot here recently. Last week was hard and I wanted nothing more than to not talk to anyone, not listen to anyone’s problems, to just zone out and be quiet for awhile. I’m still feeling this way a little, and I find myself more often than not getting lost in my own thoughts and not really listening to people. My cousin Ricky passed away last week at the age of 33, and it hit the whole family really hard.

I knew I’d be sad; I love my family, even though on that side (my Mom’s side) I don’t get to see them very often at all, especially now that I live on the west coast. My Mom is one of 13, and everyone has at least one kid (usually more than that), and now some of those kids have kids, so basically.. My family is HUGE. But yet, somehow, even though there are tons of us, we’re still close. When I found out Ricky passed away, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him, his wife, his two little girls, his mother, his brothers and sister Amy… I could go on. The whole family is devastated. Rick was known for his smile and you could always see how much he loved his family. He worked hard to provide for his family but always made time for Molly and Lucy.. To lose him now, so suddenly, it’s hard to sit and think about how everyone needs to stay strong. How can you stay strong when you’ve lost so much?

It put a lot of things in my life into perspective. I knows it’s cliche to say the whole, “Life’s too short”, but this is when I realize, it really is. It’s been forcing me to think about the hard things, the things that I don’t want to think about. So I’ve been trying to keep my mind occupied by other things, to not think about death, but it’s hard. Things keep bringing me back to it. And I can’t stop thinking about Rick’s family. Those two little girls… It literally has broken my heart for them.

The one thing that I remind myself of is the huge family we do have; they are there to support each other when they need it the most. To support Trish and the girls, Auntie Dottie, Amy, Sean, and Jason.. The family is there for them. It’s hard to be 3,000 miles away from it all, when you want nothing more than to just offer some sort of help or support, but can only offer words. I do find comfort, though, in knowing that my family is there for them when they need it most.

Rick is going to be sorely missed by so many people, and I really don’t think the healing process is going to be easy. But the one thing you can find comfort in for now is the friends and family that are there to help start the process… It’s going to be a very long road but I find comfort in knowing that Rick will continue live on through Molly and Lucy.

Rest in peace, Ricky..

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Filed under Family, Reflections

Travel Tales: Paradise Inn, Mount Rainier

So I know I did a little reflection on my first year of marriage, but I didn’t get to tell you guys exactly how we celebrated our one-year anniversary. We knew we wanted to do something special for it, so after talking for awhile, Matt suggested we go stay at the Paradise Inn up on Mount Rainier for the weekend of our anniversary. The last time we’d stayed there was back in 2004, so it’d been over 7 years since we’d been back.

We made our way up the mountain, which is a really long and windy trek up through the mountains. In fact, the Paradise is at 5,400 feet on Mount Rainier, so it’s pretty high up, and also the highest point that you can find lodging. The nice thing about the long and windy drive up is there are lots of great viewpoints along the way, which we stopped at to take photos. We listened to Cat Stevens and John Denver on our drive up, which fit in perfectly with all of the huge trees and beautiful view of the mountain.

We finally made it up the mountain and to the Paradise Inn. The Paradise was built in 1916, with extra guest rooms built in 1920. The lodge/great hall area, which is what you initially enter as you go to check in, has two stone fire places, plenty of seating, and has lots of furniture and exposed beams made from cedar logs… and yes, it’s a cozy as it sounds. What’s even cooler is that this German-born carpenter named Hans Fraehnkebuilt two long tables, a grandfather clock and piano from local materials during a winter stay at the lodge.

Anyway, we checked in on Friday, dropped our stuff in our room (which had an excellent view of the Tattoosh mountain range), and made our way outside to go on a little hike. The weather wasn’t perfect, a bit cloudy, so the views of the top of Mount Rainier were pretty non-existent, but the hike was still beautiful. The wildflowers were in full bloom, and the base of the mountain was stunning. We made our way up to Myrtle falls, which with the background of mountain, are equally stunning. And we got to see my favorite little guys, the marmots, chasing each other around in the distance! There was even one little guys sitting on a rock, just staring as us as Matt whistled at him. It was pretty awesome and cute.

After our hike, we went upstairs for tea and cookies, which I thought was a great little thing for them to offer guests. We relaxed for a bit and read before going down to the dining room. Yes, right next to the lodge/check-in area, there is a huge dining room that the inn serves breakfast, lunch and dinner in. The food isn’t to die for but it’s also nice to have a pleasant sit down dinner with a view of everything around you.

Our nights consisted of sitting down in the lodge, listening to this man play the piano nightly, and either reading or playing board games together. Usually board games earlier in the evening, then moving to the couches by one of the fireplaces to sit and read. What I love about the Paradise is how everyone relaxes, too. There is no cell phone reception, no wi-fi or internet access; hell, there aren’t any phones in any of the rooms. Being forced to disconnect and relax, I noticed how friendly people were and how much more likely you were to start a conversation with someone you’ve never met. I can’t even count the amount of people who stopped by our table as we played Ticket to Ride to ask us questions about the game or talk about how much they love it. When people aren’t staring at computer screens or their phones, and instead interact with those around them, it creates a really warm environment that is very difficult to find anymore.

Our Saturday consisted of having breakfast and then spending nearly 6 hours by the fire as there was a torrential downpour outside. I can’t say I really minded this one bit. I’ve been re-reading “The Shining”, which is kind of a hilarious choice considering the outside of the Paradise kind of resembles the outside of the Overlook in the movie, it was built a long time ago and has great history, and it is also closed for the fall/winter months, as they get a LOT of snow up there. So that was kind of funny, and at times creepy, especially when I looked at photos from many many years ago, plastered around the halls that led to our room.

Matt and I also exchanged cards during this time, and did cards-only (or so I thought). He also snuck on a new charm for my Pandora bracelet, trying to argue that it wasn’t a “gift” but that I just needed a new charm to represent our anniversary since I didn’t get one for our wedding. He’s a total sneakster and broke the rules, but I still love him nonetheless, haha.

We got up early Sunday and headed back home after getting some breakfast in the dining room. It was sad to leave, mainly because we both just enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere so much. I was happy to get home to our dogs and our house, but I would be lying if I said I was okay to come back to real life Monday morning. We made a promise to ourselves that we’d make a trip every year to the Paradise, as there is nothing better than relaxing in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

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First year of marriage…

I’ve been married for over a year now. MARRIED. That seems so weird to me sometimes; I’m Matt’s wife, and Matt’s my husband. More often than not, I wonder when the hell I got to be old enough to even be someone’s wife. Or to refer to ourselves as the Magnusons. That’s such a weird feeling. But let me clarify that it’s not a BAD weird, just a weird weird. I think it just makes me feel old. I’m 26, almost 27. Like since when did I hit my late twenties?

Anyway, forgetting the whole feeling old thing, I wanted to write a reflection on my first year of marriage. All things considered, it was a wonderful first year. We learned something new about each other on a daily basis, we laughed a LOT, we had our first Christmas as a married couple (and spoiled the crap out of our dogs/children with plenty of toys, while Matt spoiled me with a brand new iMac that I had no idea I was getting, haha), went on our first big vacation EVER (yay for Disney World honeymoon!), filed taxes jointly for the first time, decided to get healthy (Oh hey what’s up almost 130 pounds lost between the two of us?), AND celebrated 8 years since we had our first date

So much has happened since we got married. Have things been absolutely perfect? No, of course not, but when they’re not perfect, we’ve learned to be there for each other, supporting the other one through thick and thin, and really have listened to each other. Though we’ve been together for 8 years, there’s something about celebrating that first year as being married that just… It’s just a great feeling. If anything, it’s made me look forward so much more to our future years together.

One last thing I wanted to quickly note: I remember wondering at one point, while planning our wedding, whether or not I was more excited for the wedding itself or marriage. It got to a point where I think at times I got so swallowed up by planning that wedding that I forgot about the fact that I was more looking forward to the actual marriage part of things instead of one single day event. Being married is the best part of it all, not the wedding. I loved our wedding, I really did, but I just wanted to be able to call Matt my husband and start this next chapter of our lives.

And now that it’s been a year, I can officially say that marriage is really really awesome and I could not ask for a better husband (or best friend) to hold my hand and be by my side for the rest of my life.

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Filed under Marriage, Reflections

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N, we’re gonna have a ball!

Man so, we’ve been thinking about how we really want to take another big vacation in the next few months. Since our honeymoon, we’ve done a quick trip to Boston, a camping trip, and we’re about to go stay at the Paradise Inn up on Mount Rainier this weekend for our one-year wedding anniversary (which in itself will have its own blog post, both the trip and a reflection on our first year of marriage)… But since January, we haven’t really done a BIG trip together.

Let’s back up for a minute and talk about the vacations that we have gone on during our relationship. Matt and I have been together for over 8 years now, and our honeymoon was our first actual full-on vacation together, just the two of us. For so many years we didn’t have a ton of money, and in the beginning barely made ends meet when we had our little apartment. Matt was working for a TV/radio station making a terrible salary and I was making near-minimum wage as a barista. We were happy, but all of my vacation time and extra money (which really came from my tips as a barista) was spent on going back to Boston for Christmas, plus I was still in school, so we really didn’t have the money or the vacation time to go anywhere big.

Fast forward to now, and we’re at a point in our lives where we are able to afford vacations. Not on a “every 2 months let’s go somewhere exotic!” type of budget, but enough that we can take a really nice trip around once a year, with fun low-budget trips scattered around the other months. We’re also at a point where we’ve realized that we probably want kids in around 2 years, so we should probably try to get in any big trips or any “selfish” time now while we can, because when we have kids that’s not going to happen very often. Of course we’ll take our kids on vacations with us, but more people on the trip means higher cost. Plus, going on vacation minus kids is a much different – not saying it’s necessarily better – experience than with children.

So that being said, we’ve talked and discussed and researched different places but both kept coming back to the same conclusion:

We wanted to go back to Disney World.

Disney World is where we went on our honeymoon last January and it was the best trip ever. It’s funny because the looks I got from people when answering their, “Where are you going on your honeymoon?!” question with, “DISNEY WORLD!”, were pretty ridiculous. I think a lot of people assume Disney World = KIDS, and thus going there is childish and dumb. At least that’s the vibe I got anyway from the eye roll or stifled laughter.

Um, what? No. Disney World is not just for little kids who want to dress up as a princess or a pirate (though I do love seeing little kids as pirates while walking around Magic Kingdom). You have so many options on how you want to spend your trip! You can go to the different parks, go on tons of rides, eat at amazing restaurants, sit by the pool and relax, shop… I’d rather have all of these options than to just lay out in the sun and tan… But that’s just me!

Anyway, we looked into pricing out another trip for the same time of year, late January (literally the slowest week of the year at Disney) and realized we could probably afford it, though it might end up being a little on the pricey side, and that was staying at a moderate resort… Fortunately, Matt’s parents had leftover points through their Disney Vacation Club membership that would cover a 10-day stay at one of the DVC resorts. We are so lucky to have these points because they literally save more than half the cost of what the trip would normally cost…

As soon as we found out we’d have the points, we discussed it further and made the final decision… WE’RE GOING BACK TO DISNEY WORLD IN 4 MONTHS!

It’s funny because Matt and I were both talking about how our excitement level is different than it was before our honeymoon. Even though we were pumped to be going on our honeymoon to Disney, this time I think the excitement is ten times bigger. Part of it I think is because we’re both in serious need of a vacation, but the other (bigger) part is remembering how much fun we had last time; the thought of going back and getting to ride the Haunted Mansion again or Expedition Everest 10 times (maybe we’ll shoot for 11 to break last year’s record?) is so exciting I can hardly contain myself.

It’s going to be a time where we don’t have to worry about the stresses of work or anything else, but just be able to run around like we’re totally free and go on rides together, eat at our favorite restaurants, takes tons of goofy photos in silly hats, and just have fun. I love Disney World for that very reason; you are there to have fun and not worry. There really is “magic” when you see Cinderella’s castle for the first time, or see Spaceship Earth lit up at night, towering over all of Epcot..

Sure, maybe I’m drinking the Disney World Kool-Aid, but I really don’t mind. It’s one of my favorite places in the world to visit, and to be able to go again is so beyond exciting I can’t really put it into words.

So yes, we’re going on vacation and we’re heading back to Disney World… and I can’t wait.

This is a video I took of Matt and me on Expedition Everest, sitting in the very front of the rollercoaster, which scared Matt to death.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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PAX 2011: Bastion, Fortune and Glory, and The Behemoth!

This post? This is where you see me nerd out. And I mean REALLY nerd out (but dammit, there isn’t anything wrong with it). So if you don’t care about board games or video games or me geeking about said things, you should probably skip this post because it’ll: A. Bore you to death and B. You’re going to find that I’m a total dork and probably just think I’m a total goober.

Anyway, remember how I told you guys I went to my nerd game convention? I totally forgot in addition to ya know, going, I’d actually make a post about it. Overall, we had a ton of fun. We walked a LOT because we’re on our feet the whole while there, so comfy sneakers were a must and I’m glad I wore them.

 

First thing you need to understand about PAX is how it’s basically a huge convention for people to hear and see the creators from their favorite games, get to preview and play games that aren’t released yet, see people’s awesome (and sometimes ridiculous) costumes, play board games and decide whether it’s something you like enough to buy, and honestly just have fun. I like PAX for this reason; it’s an environment where you can be yourself, not worry about what you’re wearing as being too nerdy (because you’re surrounded by many other nerds who will often comment on how awesome your Three Moon  Keyboard Cat t-shirt is). Oh and you might even see R2D2 and C3PO like we did. 🙂

Being that Matt and I are both total video game nerds and board game lovers, it only makes sense that we make our way to the convention. We have a lot of fun together, as we get to experience things that we both love or are excited for together.

We were able to see a lot of games that are coming out in the near future. I was able to play Mario Kart 7, Super Mario 3D Land, Starfox 64, Kid Icarus, Rhythm Heaven (for the Wii), both Kirby (Wii and DS) games, and Matt got to play the new Zelda for the Wii. All games were a blast and made me pretty excited for all of the great things coming out for the 3DS. I also got to play Gears of War 3, which made me realize that I miiiiight be a big fan of first person shooters. Me? Shooting crazy monsters? Yeah, I can’t deny that I enjoyed the crap out of it. Oh and I got to make a fool of myself on stage dancing to Daft Punk’s “Technologic” via Dance Central 2. It was not a pretty sight, I don’t doubt that one bit.

I think my favorite moment though had to be playing Assassin’s Creed: Revelations multi-player against 5 other people also standing nearby. While I’ve never given the single-player a try, I am in LOVE with the multi-player. There’s such strategy in hunting down your target, while trying to blend in with the crowds… It’s fun. Anyway, they came out with a re-vamped multi-player for the new game that’s coming out in November, and I totally came in first in my group. I totally beat the guys and dammit, I was proud.

It kind of made me think about why I love playing multi-player online games so much.. I think being a female gamer and beating a male at a game is pretty empowering and just all-around fun. I like it even more when you’ve got some asshole who is talking crap about other people playing the game, and you can rub it in their face that yes, they were just beat by a woman. I can’t even begin to tell you how hilarious some of the reactions you get are. I think female gamers are becoming more and more accepted as time goes on, but there’s still a definite feeling of video games are for BOYS and that kind of crap. Not true, and I’ll continue to play when I can.

Anyway, another fun part of PAX is all of the ridiculous amount of free stuff you get. I think I walked out of there with around 5 free t-shirts, a scarf, blinky glasses, tons of pins, free game codes, beta invites, bandanas, etc. Some people go to collect tons of free stuff, I just kind of get it as we go. The only items we actively waited in line for that were free were these awesome t-shirts for ICO and Shadow of the Colossus. They only gave away 500 of each, so they’re very rare limited run t-shirts. What’s funny is while waiting, we actually made friends with the guy in front of us. This is what I love about PAX; you feel comfortable enough to just start talking to whoever is next to you and 95% of the time they’re super friendly.

We also bought a lot of fun stuff, including the best t-shirts and cutest Pink Knight figure by The Behemoth, the Bastion soundtrack (we got to meet the whole Supergiant Games team who developed that game which was AWESOME!), Ticket to Ride: Nordic Countries, Ascension, Rune Age, and the COOLEST board game ever, Fortune and Glory: The Cliffhanger Game.

Fortune and Glory is like this epic Indiana Jones-esque board game that is an absolute blast. You even get to fight Nazi enemies as Sharon Hunter, a daring photographer, or jump on a zeppelin and try to steal fortune coins from Nazis, or go after an artifact called “The Skull of Medusa.” I thought it’d be too complicated for me and that I wouldn’t like it but um, no. It rules. I’m in love with it, and I totally feel like a bad ass when I go after an artifact called, “The Skull of Medusa” and get past the evil traps and other crazy items you face on your expedition.

So yes, you could say we had an absolute blast this year at PAX. We walked, we demo’ed, we played, we bought, we conquered… and I cannot wait until next year when I get to nerd out all over again.

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Navigating the World of Clothes!

This is a total “First World Problem” type of post and rant, so reader beware!

Losing weight is great, it really is. I feel better about myself, how I look, how I feel, my ability to not wanting to pass out after a quick jaunt around the neighborhood (though jogging/running still isn’t happening for probably around another 100 pounds, seriously), etc. That being said, clothes-shopping is still a bitch.

I’m still big, so I don’t get to shop at the normal stores. I’m happy to have Lane Bryant and Torrid, but sometimes their clothes are just crazy expensive and I don’t feel it’s necessary to pay $30 for a tank top.

And don’t even get me started on Old Navy (okay, I’ve already started, there’s no stopping me). I used to want to give them infinite amounts of high fives for having cute plus-size clothing in-store that didn’t cost me an arm and a leg. But then, out of nowhere, they apparently felt that having their plus sizes for women in store was just not working (seriously, where did the love go for all the plus-size ladies, Old Navy?), and they made their Women’s Plus section available online-only.

This is infuriating because hi, I’d like actually try this shit on first before I buy it. Okay sure, you give me “free return shipping” but I don’t really have time in my day or my life for that matter to ship it back to you and wait for you to refund my money. Plus, I’d much rather go through the very quick, “Welp, this makes me look 5 times larger than I actually am” deal while in your dressing rooms versus waiting 9 days for my shit to arrive, only to put it on all excitedly and look in the mirror with a sad look on my face of, “Welp, this is terrible and a waste of money and blah.” I can’t even begin to tell you guys how many ugly oversized sweaters and dresses I’ve now donated (with tags) to Value Village or whoever because of this lameness.

Yet I still shop there. Why? Because their pants, for whatever reason, fit me better than any other place I’ve ever shopped. Granted, this may have a lot to do with the fact that because of my size, I’m limited to where I can actually shop, but yeah, Old Navy pants seem to fit me best (with the exception of a few styles that have just been outright way WAY too large and make me look like I’m wearing MC Hammer pants). So curse you, Old Navy, for being the one store that fits me best when it comes to pants. CURSE YOU!

Anyway, enough with the ON rant. Since I’ve start losing weight, things have been fitting obviously either much looser, or items that were really tight before are now fitting normally or even starting to be a bit looser. Problem is, my hips haven’t lost as much as other parts of my body, like my legs, so my pants now fit nicely in the hip area, but are so so SO baggy in the legs. So much so that I feel like a homeless person with MC Hammer pant-syndrome walking around my office. It’s kind of embarrassing, but at the same time I don’t say much since I’m complaining about something good. It’s hard though when you’re still big and inbetween sizes and want nothing more than to just drop enough weight to be able to wear a smaller size.

Every now and then though? I score with a cute outfit and pants that fit me properly:

Shirts have been a slightly different story. I’ve been losing weight more in my upper body, so I’ve actually gone down a size in all of my work shirts. All items from Old Navy have been a size down, which has been great. No problems in this area for the mostpart, it’s the pants situation that has been kind of a bummer.

Quick side story on the shirt side of things: Recently I donated a TON of clothing that no longer fits me (YAY! It usually used to be because it was too small and I lost hope on ever fitting into the items, but now it’s the opposite!), and as I went to put in one of my argyle sweaters that I wore all the time, I kept one of them. I kept it to remind me of how much I’ve lost since I began this journey, especially on days where I’m just feeling extra fat. I throw that bad Larry on, and realize how much progress I’ve made and give myself an epic high five. This sweater, mind you, used to be a little tight on me, and it is now very tent-like on me.

Target has become an option for me to shop at which is really great. Nice alternative to Old Navy when I just don’t like what they have to offer. My major issue with Target is their plus-size stuff, I’d say 90% of it, is really ugly or just not going to work on me for work. That and I’ve had some huge problems with their sweaters pretty much crapping on all other items of clothing in the dryer, causing me to have to pick of little piece of lint. I guess you get what you pay for it, but it’s still frustrating.

Being plus-size and trying to stay on budget when it comes to business casual-type clothing has proven to be pretty difficult. I don’t want to go and spend $100 on clothing only to have it not fit me in a few months… Hence why I’m trying to be frugal when it comes to buying new stuff. If I had a job where I could wear hoodies and jeans and sneakers, no problem, I’d be golden. But unfortunately, that’s not where I’m at right now and so I continue to struggle.

I suppose this is additional motivation so I can have much more of a variety of places to choose from, but it’s going to be awhile before I get there. For now I have to settle for what I’ve got, try to pick out some non-ugly items while not spending an arm and a leg, knowing that I probably won’t be fitting in those items come next year. It’s exciting, but currently? It can be really frustrating.

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