So, I’ve been sitting here thinking about how I should write an update on things on the weight loss/healthy changes front. It’s been a bit of time since I last updated about it, so here I am, writing about it. Amongst the craziness of those 5 days that I wrote about in my last post, I also didn’t eat very well. Now, I’m not saying I had a blow out every single day and ate terrible foods, but I’m also not saying that I didn’t eat a gyro and Greek fries, Thanksgiving dinner (and leftovers), breakfast from Wild Wheat, red velvet cake, and lots of not-so-good-for-you goodies. Hm, now looking back, yeah, I’d say Wednesday-Monday was pretty much a whole lot of cheating… Okay, so maybe it was a blow out after all.
Am I mad at myself? Honestly? Not really. Well, I think a little bit, but at the same time, with it being Thanksgiving and my birthday, I just wanted to let loose for a little bit. And I think I’m actually okay with it. The only part I think I’m mad at myself for is just straight-up portion control. It’s kind of amazing how you can step back into former bad habits really quickly without realizing it. I think that’s the only part I’m disappointed about, is not stopping when I know I should’ve stopped. But ya know what? I ate my damn red velvet cake and I ENJOYED it. So really, while there is definitely a hint of disappointment, I’m fairly certain that I’m 98% okay with it.
Now the big question… Did I gain weight from it? Welp, I don’t know. I haven’t weighed myself now in awhile. It’s pretty nice not obsessing about the constant “DID I LOSE WEIGHT?” thing. Plus, I’m fairly certain I did gain weight from my days of fun, but what’s the point in stepping on the scale? I know myself too well; I’ll tell myself that I’m fine with gaining a pound or two, but the second that becomes real, on the scale, I’ll get really down on myself and it won’t be a good situation. So with that, I might weigh myself in a few weeks before Christmas, but I’m not sure. I’m also considering just waiting until after Christmas, but before our trip to Disney World. Disney is going to be an all-out eat-whatever-we-want trip, since we made a deal that if we ware on vacation, we’re also on vacation from counting calories. So my thought is to weigh myself before we leave, just to check in on how I’m doing, and go from there. Sure, it’s a long way away to not weigh myself, but I’m also finally feeling comfortable with my current progress and not obsessing with my scale that it’s a very necessary break. So we will see, but last time I stepped on the scale, I was flirting with nearing the 60 pound mark.
On the exercise front, I had taken a break for a few weeks from going to the gym. I was getting burnt out and frustrated with my lack of weight loss, so I stepped back from going. Problem is, as soon as you start to do that, you’re breaking a good habit you had going. The good thing is, because Matt and I take the same train home at 5:40, but I get out at 4:30, I have around 40 minutes to do whatever I want until I have to meet Matt at the train. It gets boring sitting in your office for 40 minutes, which I’ve been doing recently on my hiatus from the gym… but this week I got kind of tired of it. So what did I do? Went back to the gym! I’m proud that I’m back to going whenever I can. I thought I would be dying on the elliptical, and while I definitely am not where I was before in terms of my strides per minute, I’m not in as terrible shape as I thought I would be.
I’m thinking about walking today, and kind of switching between that and the elliptical. I hear how awesome walking is for you, so I really think it’ll be good for me. Plus, we’re going to Disney World where I expect to walk miles upon miles every day (and this time I’m bringing actual GOOD sneakers, to avoid a repeat of our honeymoon where I had the most horrible blisters EVER.), so I think it’s probably a good idea that I walk a few miles every day to get my body ready for that. I’m sticking to walking for now, as I thought my body was ready to do a little jogging and I managed to hurt my knee in that process. That’s actually part of the reason I took a break from the gym; my knee was bothering me and I really didn’t want to make it any worse.
While yes I’ve made strides and have lost a lot of weight, I still need to lose more before I feel like I can safely do things like jog, or any sort of higher-impact exercise. My knees just aren’t ready for it, and with my ankles being so terrible from all the sprains in high school, I just don’t want to risk really injuring myself. So for now, walking and elliptical is what I need to focus on and not push myself so hard that I legitimately hurt myself.
Actually, that just reminded me… While I appreciate people wanting to help out and give advice, I think some people think that because I’ve lost almost 60 pounds, I’m now at a weight where I can run and stuff without any concern for hurting myself. I’m not sure people realize that I’ve got another like.. 150 pounds to lose! I think I look like I weigh less than I actually do. One day, when I’m finally at a weight that I’m a bit more comfortable with, I’ll let you know where I started. In the meantime, I’m obviously not about to divulge where I’m at right now with anyone but myself and Matt. That being said, just uh, remember that not everyone can just start running when they have a ton of weight to lose, even if I’ve lost 60 pounds already.
That’s about it on that front! I’m feeling a lot more relaxed about things, proud that even after around 5-6 days of unhealthier eating, I’m back on track, eating the things I should be eating during my work week and back at the gym! It’s a good feeling and I’m glad I have control over my eating. Honestly, any other time I’ve lost weight in the past, I’d have continued to eat like crap and then gained all of my weight back. But this time? Nope, not happening. I might have gained a few pounds from last week/weekend, but that’s no excuse to just go back to eating crappy every day of the week and to stop exercising. Life is all about balance and making sure you don’t go overboard either way. Sometimes we have times where we might “cheat” more than normal, but that’s LIFE. I’m not going to worry about it, instead I’m going to continue what I’ve been doing while enjoying life.
That’s what this entire thing has been about! Getting healthier but also living my life and enjoying it. So that’s what I’m going to keep doing…